There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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