He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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