I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
