A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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