he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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