my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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