her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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