If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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