no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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