You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Randomize
