Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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