where am i from again
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
