went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
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