We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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