Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
