But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Did I show you my penis last night?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Randomize
