I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
