I want to stick my p in your. b.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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