If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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