Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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