I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
