smell my finger.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
