Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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