i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
All I want is dick and wine.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize