I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize