I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
