Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
