so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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