And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
