my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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