WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
