wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
