Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
