i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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