I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize