i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
