actually, I'm a sock model
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize