I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
she smelled like a LAN party
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize