Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
