I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
