Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
So squirting runs in the family.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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