Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
