She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
