okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
