Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
