haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
