The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I can't put those talents on a resume
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize