Where are you?
In a non slutty way
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
This is my gift to your gina
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
