What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
