can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
