I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I cockslap morals
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You need a sexual gate keeper
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
