I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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