You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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