tell your sister to shave her snatch
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Randomize
