We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
