Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
