The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
they're like a gay fantastic four
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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