I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
