let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
