He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
