So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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