whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
