You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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