she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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