First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
