Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize